To all the ROCKS that shape us!

Today is National Women's Day in South Africa, commemorating a landmark march in 1956 by over 50 000 women who sang "You strike a woman, you strike a rock", as they protested against amends to the Urban Areas Act. 

Every year Women's Day comes around, I take time out to reflect on the women I have met and known, who have in some way inspired me. It has to be said though that by listening to people's stories, there are very few (if any) men or women I have met, who are not somehow inspirational - from small acts of kindness to strangers, to brave life changes; but today I want to introduce you to 5 women who have very clearly influenced and inspired me, through their strength of character.

I haven't asked their permission to share their stories so names have been changed. 

Meet Nicole* - She fell in love with free-spirited Jeremy* while still in high school. He was older than her, and her protective family was not quiet in their concerns regarding their relationship.
She fell pregnant with their first child, which forced her to leave school. They moved into a tiny house with their new family, which in a few years expanded to two children. Nicole was working, and although starting at the bottom due to her lack of qualification, she very quickly worked her way up; and they were all really happy.
After a few years, Jeremy's demons caught up with him, and he returned to his former drug habit. Faced with the stranger in their home, Nicole (despite her obvious love and concern for Jeremy) chose to leave to protect her girls, and made a new home for them. I still can't get my head around how tough it must have been for her, leaving the love of her life and starting over again- putting her pride in her pocket for the sake of her girls, in accepting help from her family. She went on to meet the most wonderful man, who she has married, and grown her family with. Her girls, now young adults, are both strong-willed, independent women - no doubt influenced by their incredible mother.

Amy* was my boss at a casual job I had in my twenties. She took immense pride in her business and worked incredibly hard at it! She was firm when she needed to be, but always fair. More than that, she took genuine interest in the people around her, and became a 'home' - a safe place for many of us who worked there. She never hid from her experience of being raped, and instead worked really hard at helping others who had gone through the same thing- a proud voice against the abuse of women, and always encouraging us to demand better for ourselves. It's so hard trying to put into words what she taught me and how she inspired me, but needless to say I am so grateful to have met her when I did, and so proud to have her as a friend today.

Closer to home, I have been really lucky to have grown up around 3 incredible women: My sister, my mother and my grandmother.

My sister and I are very different and growing up, fights were inevitable as we struggled against each other for independence. Being twins, people expected us to be the same as each other, and it wasn't until university where we were given the space to pursue different interests and for the first time have friends who weren't mutual, that we got to know each other. She has such a warmth about her, and a fantastic sense of humour. Her home is warm and inviting, and nothing is ever too much to ask. She has known pain and disappointment but her eternal optimism despite the grey, is inspiring.   

My grandmother was a fighter extraordinaire! While raising my mother and uncle, their family was uprooted often, as my grandad's work took them all over the country. Each time, she'd have to set up home again, work to get her children settled and make new friends; only to repeat it all again a few years later. Suffering the sudden loss of my grandad, she was ofcourse devastated but took it all in her stride. She threw herself into the church and at the care home she moved into, she quickly assumed the role of the "mother" of the group; always making sure the others around her were happy and healthy. My grandmother was ill for a long time before we became aware of it, and I've often wondered how long she'd known she was ill for, before raising the alarm. By the time she died, her body was riddled with cancer but even until that evening she finally passed away, she fought it with everything she had, and that will always be my lasting memory of her. "Rage, rage against the dying of the light...."

And then... there's my mother; perhaps the most incredible of all. I giggle as I write that, just imagining her response  -  she has not often heard me praise her. She and I bumped heads a lot as I grew up, but as an adult I have nothing much admiration and respect for her. Despite many difficulties, she has persevered and pursued a dream I'm sure at her darkest times, she could never have imagined possible. 
She has psoriasis - today it's controlled and relatively mild but as a child it was severe and made her an obvious target for cruel bullies at school. In her twenties she met and married my father. A year after having my sister and I, they mourned the loss of their 4-day old son, Ryan. Coping with year-old twins (who came with their own health issues), and losing a baby  - I just can't imagine how hard it must have been for them both, and for years she fought a deep depression over her loss. My dad was incredibly supportive of her, but as anyone with depression knows, you have to fight really hard to pull yourself out of it, and fight she did. I can remember instances when things were particularly tough for her, where she'd have regular panic attacks, and couldn't bring herself to go to anywhere on her own - and then I look at her today - a confident woman who has worked her way up the ranks of politics, to carry the title of shadow minister and member of South Africa's parliament!

There is ofcourse so much more to each of these women and their stories but this is my brief way of paying tribute to them and thanking them for inspiring me to live, love, give and BE better. To the rocks that shape us - Happy Women's Day! x